Have You Ever Felt Abandoned?

Today I'm feeling a bit sad. I think back over the past four years and all I have been through since the man I was commited to growing old with walked away from me, our three children, and our thirteen-year history. I have grown so much closer to the Lord through all this and yet a part of my heart still feels hurt, pain, abandonment. I finally feel 100% released and at peace toward the dissolution of marriage and ex-husband part of it. What I am still having a difficult time dealing with is the sense of abandonment from people I called friends. These people are pastors and their families. Was I living in a world of my own to believe otherwise? Did our children not spend birthday parties and baby showers and other activities together? Did our children not attend the same schools and children's ministry classes? Was I not a commited member of this church since day 1 and yet in my hour of needing love and support people seemed to have turned their backs? I am still perplexed by this behavior. I am perplexed at a group of people who confess to believe in being connected and available for each other. I have greeted and ministered to those people who were first-time believers and now they are called pastors and on staff. I've asked the Lord to explain it to me. Why Lord? It's been four years! What more must I learn from all this pain? Here are just a few of the lessons I've learned along the way about people:

Lesson #1: People are people no matter what titles they hold.
Lesson #2: People can't give what they don't have or know to give.
Lesson #3: People are at different spiritual levels and wisdom, discernment and other gifts come with time, experience, and discipline.
Lesson #4: People at my church were not prepared or willing to deal with my broken family situation.
Lesson #5: We are sinful by nature no matter how hard we try not to be.
Lesson #6: Surrender and move on...
Lesson #7: Forgive them for they may or may not know what they have done.

Just in the last week I felt the Lord answer my supplicaion as to WHY, WHY, WHY. His answer was to have testimonies to share. We have to be really careful about allowing the seed of bitterness to grow in our hearts. I've prayed over and over and over again that the Lord would give me strength to forgive and to mean it. I've also come to learn that the Lord puts people into your lives for a season, a reason, or a lifetime...

The bottom line is this: We are all searching for one thing, and that one thing is unconditional love. We must first seek to find it from the Lord. Anything and everything else will fail us, it's only a matter of time or situation. So to all those people I thought were my friends...please don't pretend to care if you really don't. That's the worst gift you can give someone. Be real and be real... You have to be able to live what you preach. I release you from my heart and I receive all the new people the Lord has put in my life and continues to put in my life for the purpose of growing closer to Him! Beware. If you are a Christian...you must be very careful by your actions because a simple act of disobedience may cost someone their eternal salvation. Don't be negligent. Being a Christian is NOT for sissys!